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'Abuse Is Not Love Because Love Does Not Hurt,' Says Dr. Nesa Chappelle

Announcing the launch of her moving and empowering new book, Dr. Nesa Chappelle uses her own experiences to help women understand the signs of abuse and encourage them to fight for their dreams, their children and themselves.


Upper Marlboro, MD -- (SBWIRE) -- 01/01/2013 -- Dr. Nesa Chappelle became the victim of sexual molestation at age thirteen. With her mother’s first husband as the perpetrator, Chappelle’s admission of her abuse to her mother did not change the situation, forcing her to continue living in terror. Eventually breaking free of her chains and achieving her prestigious PhD in 2011, Chappelle today announces a new book to provide solace for millions of Women in need.

Broken Silence: A Secret Life of Abuse serves to help others recognize the early signs of abuse and escape them before it’s too late.


Broken Silence: A Secret Life of Abuse chronicles the life of Nesa Chappelle, Ph.D., who experienced abuse, beginning in childhood, from people in her life who were supposed to love her, including her mother, her stepfather, and her husbands.

Her mother and biological father were never married. While Nesa craved a close and loving relationship with her mother, her attitude towards her daughter was cold and distant. Female relatives, including Nesa’s mother, also suffered physical and/or emotional abuse from the men in their lives. Nesa's father, a hustler, enjoyed the good life — fancy cars, fine clothes, and pretty women — but he emotionally abused the women who loved him. Growing up in this life not only triggered her quest as a young adult for "a good husband," but also instilled in her a thirst for knowledge and success.

Nesa wanted the good life, so she pursued education — a bachelor's degree, a master's degree, and a Ph.D. — which enabled her to land well-paying professional positions and to live an upper-middle-class lifestyle. To her colleagues, she had it all. Only a few close friends and relatives knew about her secret life: a pattern of entering into relationships and marriages to men who abused her mentally, physically, and/or emotionally.

After enduring nearly two years of mental and emotional abuse in her marriage to husband number six, her life turned a corner. Nesa found God, sought domestic abuse counseling, and decided to write this book — for her, the “healing has begun.”

As the author explains, she hopes that her book will prove to women that there is absolutely nothing positive in an abusive relationship — only fear, terror, illness, isolation and misery.

“This story is important because it is my intention to help women to understand that abuse is not love because love does not hurt — love empowers. I aim to write about signs of abuse using my personal experiences and research as well as to encourage women to fight for their dreams, their children, and themselves,” says Chappelle.

She continues, “Intimate partner abuse is a method of ‘control’ — usually by partners with low self-esteem and who have been victimized themselves. Women should know the warning signs of an abusive partner and avoid the relationship at all costs.”

Because many women seek intimate relationships to avoid loneliness, Chappelle urges them to love themselves first and to recognize that it is perfectly acceptable to wait for the right partner — one that is loving and not abusive.

“They should know that it is perfectly fine to be alone until an appropriate partner shows him or herself. Women are created equal to men and are to be loved and protected. Also, women must bond together in sisterhood to stop the violence — with a ‘zero’ tolerance for abuse."

Since its release, the book has garnered a consistent string of rave reviews.

“The author pulls you into the book and because it's based on true stories of events it can be very helpful to others who are being physically and mentally abused. “It could be a lesson learned,” says Kerns-Mills, who reviewed the book on Amazon.

Another reader, Miz Annie, was equally as impressed. She said, “This book was a compelling read. It is often difficult to understand the how's and why's of women in abusive relationships, and especially why they "just don't leave." Dr. Chappelle gives us that understanding, and it provides insight into how we should be raising our daughters to avoid future domestic violence.”

Broken Silence: A Secret Life of Abuse, published by Dog Ear Publishing, is available from: http://www.spiritdrivenwomen.com or http://www.brokensilencebook.com.

About Nesa Chappelle, Ph.D.,
Nesa Chappelle, Ph.D., is a womanist scholar who is dedicated to influencing social and political policy that affects black and Hispanic women and victims of domestic violence.

Chappelle holds a bachelor's degree in Spanish language and business education from the University of the District of Columbia, a master's degree in multicultural education from George Mason University, and a doctoral degree in political science, public administration, and education administration and supervision from Howard University. Visit http://www.spiritdrivenwomen.com