For almost three years, Ontario’s Sean Beaumont spent his hour-long morning commute pondering the grander scheme of life through his just-woken-up daze; posting short musings to his Facebook page. What Beaumont didn’t realize was that he was amassing a truck-load of wisdom that ranged from intelligent and funny to dirty, inappropriate and downright absurd. Over 800 one-liners later, Beaumont has cracked to the pressure of friends and family to compile a book of those posts. It could well be 2014’s silliest Holiday gift, but one recipients certainly won’t find anywhere else.
LaSalle, ON -- (SBWIRE) -- 12/16/2014 -- Sean Beaumont is unlikely to have a religion set up after him, found his own life coaching school or run for President (mostly because he's Canadian and doesn't want to spark another birth certificate saga) – but his random and unique views on life have generated a dedicated if niche audience of their own.
'Sustenance For Consideration: The First Digestion' started life as daily musings posted to the author's Facebook page, but has since transposed itself into a book chock-full of one-liners and short paragraphs that are clever, corny often inexcusably crass. But there's a reason – to share one man's unconventional perception of the world and encourage readers to document life through their own often twisted periscopes.
A boy. His imaginary dragon, and their heartwarming struggle to legalize their union... Has nothing to do with this book. Instead, what's contained within are over 800 randomly absurd musings that will make you say things like, "What the hell is wrong with this guy?", "I don't get this one", "Or this one", "This one's actually kind of funny", and "Well I never!" (But only if you're a snobby British socialite). So sit back, grab a glass of your favourite alcoholic beverage (trust me, it'll make them better) and prepare to waste hours of your life that you will assuredly never get back.
"I'm not going to lie and say that I expect to be picking up the Man Booker literary prize next year; this is likely a book you'll keep in your bathroom to shock guests during their brief visits, or keep in your car for a sudden shot of the unconventional while your kids straggle at the school gate," admits Beaumont. "I didn't intend to turn my 800+ random Facebook posts into a book. Blame my friend at work – it was his idea!"
Continuing, "Jokes aside, I do hope that my wisdom provides a break from the norm for readers; and that they will laugh, squirm and agree with the random things that caught my attention as I travelled to work. It's just one man's perspective, but I believe that the human experience is a collective effort. If whatever I saw that day shocked me or made me raise an eyebrow, it will likely do the same to others. I've also got four kids to put through college and quite fancy a bigger house next year – so I urge readers to secure a copy now just for my own personal gain!"
Examples of one-liners from the book include "They should really make a shelter for battered fish because that $#!+ is delicious" and "A wise man once told me, "Just take it. Take it and go!" He was a rich wise man, and I had a knife", a far cry from any other book on the market.
Readers agree, leaving a slew of positive reviews. Robert Woolacott comments, "Hilarious from start to finish. Mr Beaumont's unique and hilarious sense of humor will open your mind to a host of never-ending possibilities."
Delia Sulja adds, "Hilariously hilarious. I can read this over and over again and still laugh out loud."
'Sustenance For Consideration: The First Digestion' is available now: http://amzn.to/1CzanAB
For more information, visit the author's official website: http://www.sustenanceforconsideration.com
About Sean Beaumont
This is the first book that Sean Beaumont has ever written, and quite honestly, was only published because he did it himself. He will, however, undoubtedly use the sentence "Sean Beaumont is the bestselling author of the Sustenance For Consideration: The First Digestion" in the 'About the Author' section of his next book. Of his non-commercially recognized achievements in comedy, he is most proud of that time that he made a fellow grade 2 student laugh so hard that he shot milk out his nose, while simultaneously pissing his pants. (It was a damn good fart joke) Sean grew up in Southern Ontario where he still currently lives with his beautiful and supportive wife Shannon and their four kids; Brandon, Adam, Sadie, and Daisy. He is currently employed at a pretty decent job, but does not want to specify where exactly for fear of having to put some kind of disclaimer about how his views expressed in this book do not reflect those of his employer. Despite his decent job, and that of his wife, they will never make enough to put the aforementioned four kids through post secondary education. So, if you like the book, spread the word.